my bahama psuedo adventure-part one

Ok, so the cruise was…interesting.

First, let me say that we are grateful to have gone, grateful that our flights were uneventful and the weather in Miami and the Bahamas was mild, if a little windy. And we are grateful to have gotten the heck outta New York and our tiny apartment. We might have lost what is left of our minds if we had to stay in for nine days straight. There’s very little to do in NY, in my opinion, when you’ve already done all the tourist stuff.

Interesting began the moment we got into our black car hired to take us to La Guardia Airport. Let me just say that even at 6 am and with no traffic, we shouldn’t have arrived there in under 20 minutes. I think the driver invented “e-ticket rides” and I no longer needed my caffeine energy drink by the time we got to our destination. I’m beginning to think NY taxi drivers are a special breed of maniac.

Of course, since we got there so early, and had already checked in online, all we had to do was drop off our bags and go through security. Which took all of 25 minutes. So while being afraid to miss our flight we left 2 ½ hours early, we ended up spending a little less than two hours at the airport just waiting to board. This is something we hate, seeing as we once got stuck at London’s Heathrow airport for 24 hours, which was miserable. And airports are the least comfortable place to have to wait. Well, I guess maybe jail would be worse. Then it was onto the next portion of mild torture: the flight.

Those of you who know us would probably describe us as, well, irritable, when it comes to noises. Planes are therefore our crucible. I never fly without earplugs because it is inevitable that at least one couple will not get the message that they are not alone and that their partner is not deaf. They think those around them are though, so they continue whatever unimportant, mundane conversation they started in the airport on the plane, sometimes for the entirety of the flight. The husband and I view this travel time differently, I guess, than most. We see it as a time to be considerate, quiet, and keep to ourselves, trying to move as little as possible (which for me is just asking for a nervous breakdown, but I manage to be an adult about it) so as not to disturb those around us. So, of course, we attract those aforementioned couples like magnets. This was no exception.

The two women were not loud, per se, but sitting right behind us, talking about literally nothing, just two hens clucking away because that is woman’s nature (sorry all you feminists, but its true) was just annoying enough to have us dreading the next 2 ½ hours. They obviously didn’t realize that the third person in their row, plus us and the third person in our row, were all trying to get comfortable enough to sleep, and they were becoming increasingly unpopular with those surrounding them. But people like them see only themselves, hear only themselves, care only for themselves. Gratefully, sometime after we actually fell asleep (which was surprising) I woke up to…silence. Amazing, wonderful silence. During our nap the stewardess (oh, excuse me, “flight attendant”) must’ve shown them that there were two seats free. I don’t know where they went, but it was far enough from us that I didn’t care. I wanted to kiss whoever fixed that.

Glad that I wouldn’t have to make a scene on an airplane and be escorted to federal prison for assaulting another passenger, we soon disembarked and soaked in the high seventies weather and strong sun of Miami. Which is where I will leave off for now.

Tune in next time, same blog time, same blog channel.

Ok that was so lame.