Ok, so…
I know it’s been way too long since my last post, and I know you were all checking daily for a new one (right?) but none of you checked in on me in my absence, so you are now in time out. Your second punishment will be that I cram two months worth of happenings and wonderings into this post and then I will leave it on a cliffhanger and then not post for another two months. Well, that is if I can think of a cliff hanger before I finish this.
In my last post I mentioned the struggle I had with my headaches. I think it was that week that I finally had it and decided to try a supplement that I had heard of for years on the radio but thought it too cost prohibitive to give a try (which is actually not true). Let me just say that Jigsaw Magnesium with SRT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE (and no I am not a paid spokesperson…I’d say it for another 6 months supply. I’m totally addicted now- addicted to a pain free existence! But seriously, no, I’m not affiliated with them at all). I feel like a different person, alive, capable… instead of the walking dead. I cannot tell you how many mornings I have woken up and just said a prayer of thanks to God that finally I have some relief. Even Hubby has said it’s like I’m a different person, and now he wants a divorce because he actually liked me snarky, dependent and offering to do anything for him to rub my shoulders and head (ok, he didn’t really say all that but I think secretly it’s what he is thinking…but not the divorce part.) Now he’s taking advantage because I don’t have an excuse not to rub his shoulders or to cover up for some snotty remark. I’m really having to step up my game now.
It’s almost worth it.
So YAY! for me. Now it’s not the pain I worry about preventing me from being a good mother in the future. It’s just me I have to worry about. Which brings me to another story.
I previously reported that God had provided me with a great job babysitting 3 times a week for a 4 month old.
Yeah, that’s over.
Grandma decided to come live with them and now I am out of a job. I won’t go into the many, many, many days I came home crying because I was so exhausted after 9 hours of watching the baby, who all in all was fine but was extra needy and cranky and the only thing that made him happy was to be in the stroller or chest harness (?), walking and walking and walking, in rain or hell on earth. I won’t detail how I cried because of course this meant that I am going to be the world’s worst mother because I judged a four month old of being too needy and talking about how I should just go have my tubes tied and thinking of all the mommies in my life who make it look so darn easy and fun and they would of course never get mad at a child for anything, and how of course Hubby was going to be Super dad because he is better at everything than I am. It was enough to have me eating anything made of bread and cheese and alcohol for about 6 weeks and now I can’t fit into my jeans (and a few pairs of underwear) and I still can’t afford the subway fare to the gym to work it off.
Thankfully I had made enough to pay off the tickets we bought to go out in July to California, but now I am looking for anything to supplement our less than sufficient refund checks from student loans. I am handling it better than I would have several years ago though. Funny how moving across the country in 6 weeks and not having anything or anyone out here will make a lot of other things seem small in comparison. I’ve joined a website where I’ve made myself available to do dog walking, housekeeping and babysitting. But it’s been two weeks and I’ve only gotten one response which led to an interview which has led to nothing. So we’re looking into ways we can borrow more money because YAY! we just found out that our last student loan refund check comes in January of 2012…a whole 4 months before we have to move back to California and Hubby has to find a job, and the check already doesn’t cover our living expenses for the 4 month period they are supposed to cover now. And we need plane fare and cars and, and, and…
Like I said, I could sooo freak out about all this, but just this once I’m gonna try and sit back and wait to see what God’s gonna pull together for us. Just this once I will not freak out.
I might weep a little in the shower later, but I will NOT freak out.
In other news…
It’s not cold anymore. Not even a little bit, not even cool. It’s 81 degrees in our apartment even though it’s only 75 outside, and the humidity is over 60%. And it’s not even June. So we’re gonna get the air conditioner out of storage tonight because there is no way I am sleeping on a faux leather couch cause Hubby doesn’t want the window open since the birds are practicing their audition for American Idol out there. I woke up this morning feeling like that Senator from the X Men movie who got zapped by that ray and turned into that jelly and then burst into liquid and drained out. All because when you wait until your married, you don’t know that your spouse’s secret identity is a pottery kiln. And then it’s too late.
I know my posts always run the same pattern: complain, freak out, complain, then admit my life is pretty good considering. I feel like I should erase all that precedes this sentence because there are people missing loved ones in the South because of the tornadoes, and Japan is still in reeling, and lots of people are losing their homes because they can’t find jobs.
But I keep this blog not only to keep you all informed but also as a reminder when I look back at how God does provide, in abundance, not only the things we need but the things we didn’t even know we needed (for instance, Hubby’s grandmother recently passed away and of course we couldn’t afford even one ticket to go home for the funeral. But one of the cousin’s husbands works for an airline and was able to get us 2, count ‘em 2, roundtrip tickets for free so we could be with the family for a couple of days. We both decided that we really needed that “booster shot” of seeing everyone again, even though we hadn’t realized it. How great is our Heavenly Father?!)
So, on the positives, we were able to go home for a couple of days. We were able to get tickets to go out in July. Hubby isn’t losing his mind as much. And God has been blessing us with great sermons from our favorite pastor via podcast and we’re learning and stretching and repenting and growing like we haven’t in years.
So life’s good for us, and even if it wasn’t, I’d still be giving Him glory for all His mercy and grace He gives anew everyday. I’m hoping you’re able to do the same.
So, until July then…well, you know I probably won’t write again until then, unless somebody else decides to talk me up in CVS again or something.
And no I couldn’t think of a cliffhanger. I thought it too cruel to lie and say I’m pregnant because when I write stuff like that I end up getting hate mail from my grandma and then I have to answer in kind and then it escalates and then it's a little mini war. (Just kidding, grandma. I love you!)
