ok, so, I've been thinking.
Which I don't let myself do a lot of, since thinking leads to missing and yearning for a year from now, and that puts me into a funk only retail therapy, which I cannot afford, can fix.
But this has been nagging me for days now, so here it goes.
The Proverbs 31 woman. Do we see anything there about her getting up at the butt-crack of dawn to do sit ups, or Pilates, or yoga? Does Scripture show her counting calories or fighting to put on Spanx, or wondering where the extra tire or two around her middle came from? Does she put off grocery shopping or tending to the physical and emotional needs of her children to search the web for the best deal on liposuction or a boob-lift?
I think you can sense that these are hypothetical questions. Although, I have a feeling similar thoughts MIGHT have crossed her mind a time or two (ok, maybe not the liposuction). But the point is, she was known -put down on paper for all time, for goodness sake!- for better things, and I think that is because she was preoccupied with better things.
You know what I do not see in Song of Salomon, or Proverbs 31, or the plethora of laws and regulations in Scripture? I do not see one about women, wives, and their size. Or how a man can put a wife "away" for being a little saggier, or tired, or bigger than she once was.
I do see, however, laws against unfaithful or impure women.
I do see Salomon, arguably the world's wisest man next to Christ Himself, spouting poetry, POETRY! about how beautiful his wife's neck and eyes and lips and breasts were. And interestingly, nowhere in that entire book does it say she was a 34-24-34. And this was a man who had 700 hundred wives and 300 concubines, and was king, so he could have all the variety and newest models he wanted. And you know what? They were his downfall because for all they could offer in some areas, they were not after the heart of the one true God.
I do see Proverbs 31 praising an industrious, FRUGAL, wise woman. I do see a woman whose reputation for being a paragon of MODESTY, class, godliness, and fairness was well known in the city she lived in. And that those were the reasons her husband was proud to call her "wife." Not because she was eye-candy.
You might be wondering where some of this is coming from. Well, some of it might be coming from a certain date in August that I dread every year now. But I think some of this is coming from God looking into my mind and saying "seriously?" He really knows how to press the buttons.
Yes, I am only going to be 28.
In less than a month.
In 26 days, to be precise.
And yes, this is a big deal, since I used to think 23 was so old my brain literally couldn't conceive of anything older.
And yes, I've spent the last year wondering where my metabolism went, and feeling guilty half the time because I am still several sizes smaller than the average American woman, and still several sizes smaller than I will be once I've finally had children (which is a totally separate issue I am not willing to discuss right now). And yes, I wish I could complain that all my clothes feel tight and I cannot figure out how what I see in the mirror doesn't jive with what I see in my mind's eye (which is Katherine Heigl, if you're wondering). Except I feel small and ungrateful and shallow when I am about to complain about exactly those things.
But I hear people I respect talk about how we women need to be vigilant that we don't "let ourselves go," that we need to try to stay attractive because our men our visual. I think this is true, up to a point, for both sexes. And yes, I think we could all benefit from self control when it comes to lots of stuff, like eating what is bad for us and then complaining about the consequences, or shopping for what we don't need, or allowing our emotions to rule us and wreak havoc on those around us. And I think we should do as many of the little things as we can, like make-up and/or exercise if we're so inclined, or wearing clothes that show we have respect for ourselves and others. I think these are all beneficial and do no harm, as long as they are done in moderation and with the right perspective. But I think having a confident, bright, positive, supportive, encouraging, gee-I'm glad-you're-home-I-Love-you attitude can go a lot further in the long run than some mascara or a the newest fashions.
But we cannot be obsessed with what, honestly, just cannot be!!! I'm sorry but both sexes could use a little reality check. I don't see a lot of women dissatisfied with their husbands because their hair is thinning, or there is a little extra along the waistline than years ago. I am not one to play the foul card, but I think this is unfair. Just sayin.
So, back to the Lady of Proverbs 31.
She didn't get there by being a work-out-a-holic, or Martha Stewart. She got there by being godly, by actively searching out God's heart. You know how I am sure of this? Because I don't think she could've been all she was cracked up to be if He hadn't helped her to be all those things.
And that's the kind of "fame" I am wishing for. Hoping I can achieve.
Because I don't want people at my memorial remembering me for how well I decorated my house (although, even the Proverbs 31 woman, I think, would've made her house welcoming, peaceful, etc, etc.) or how often I updated the wall paper or throw pillows. I want to be remembered as loving, joyful, peaceful, patient (God help us all when we pray for this!) kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.
Though my daydreams very, very often run towards the perfect dinner party, or a knock-em-out-of-their-socks birthday bash, I have been wondering why I've been more preoccupied with those things than with how God wants me to treat His children, or why i am more worried about the rolls in my middle than the sin in my heart.
Why do I worry more about the fact that my roots are coming in and picking the perfect boxed hair color, than whether roots of selfishness, shallowness, jealousy, judgment, are taking root?
Do I actually think that my Creator, MY SAVIOR, Who cannot possibly find anything redeemable in me, Who really should cast me off and burn me as He would something soiled and repugnant...do I really think that He would be more proud of my wardrobe, or my decorating skills, or the myriad of other concerns that mean nothing in His economy? do I really think those things weigh more than my utter humiliation before Him? more than wanting His heart for my own? more than being His grateful servant? that whatever I think I have to offer is worth more to Him than the tears I should use to wash His feet with, tears of gratefulness, humility, brokenness, and stupification that I GET to spend not only eternity, but this life, with Him? do I really think anything else beside my COMPLETE OBEDIENCE to Him is acceptable?
again...I think you can read the hypothetical.
So I challenge you, and myself .
Let us be virtuous wives (Proverbs 31: 10a) Let's ask God for special revelation about what HE thinks this means and how it looks lived out. Let's ask our Father how we can honor Him by living as His daughters.
Let us be conduct ourselves as women "worth more than rubies" (vs 10b). Let's try to remember that we want to hear "well done, good and faithful servant" more than "well done, toned and size 4 with perky breasts and glowing skin."
Let us be trustworthy (vs. 11a) . Let us not tell stories about each other that are not praiseworthy and edifying. Let us not tell tales about our husbands or marriages or kids that do not reflect how we ARE DIFFERENT. Let us tell only stories that show how our unions reflect our union with Christ. (And I gotta give a shout out to the Hubby for pointing this out to me recently).
Let us be hardworking, not idle, and use all our resources wisely, to the benefit of ourselves, our husbands/fathers/brothers/sisters, family, and church body/community (vs. 13-16). Yes, we need to take time for ourselves. Even Christ did so. But let our time be redeemed by service. I pray, for myself the most, that I stop balking when my husband asks for a refill even when I am comfy on the couch, or a myriad of other things that make me think "what would it be like to be served myself?" Let us ask if there was anything Christ held in reserve for Himself, before we ask what we should get in return for anything, or before we hold back love and service in hopes of reciprocation.
Let us be strong in Him, and be honorable (vs.25), and
Let us ask God to show us what wisdom and kindness says, looks like, acts like, thinks, etc, and that He would move us toward those things which please Him (vs. 26).
And let us remember that "charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who FEARS the Lord, she shall be praised." (vs. 30).
